Choose Joy Event: February 9th

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I’m Emmy, I’m 35, and I’m infertile.

Wait, let me back up.  I’m Emmy.  Mique has been so sweet to allow me to invade her space for the day.  Mique and I met a few years ago at The Creative Connection in Minnesota, but we’re both a couple of California girls.  I have been lucky enough to be a vendor at her Queen Bee Market five times, and she has become one of my nearest and dearest friends.  She lets me text-rant at her all day long.  I own Much Ado About You {where I used to sell printed day planners, and now I just sell printables}, I occasionally blog {Confesstions of a Paper Freak}, and I incessantly Instagram {@itsjustemmy}.  I am married to my high school sweetheart and as of this year we have been together for more than half our lives.

Almost 11 years ago I got pregnant for the first time.  Nathan and I were so excited, and immediately started planning that child’s future.  We were thinking of names… wondering if it would be a boy or a girl… hoping its due date of December 26th would not mean we were going to have a Christmas baby.

But just a few days later I started bleeding heavily, and knew in an instant that that baby was gone.

We had only just begun trying to get pregnant, but I had so many friends experiencing infertility and I begged God to spare us from that roller coaster.

Our doctor told us that since we were so early in the pregnancy I would not need a D & C, and that technically I could get pregnant as soon as my next cycle.

Which I did.

That pregnancy was such a relief, and I vividly remember thanking God that I was never going to have to walk that long and painful road of infertility.

A year after Beau was born we decided to start trying for a second baby.  We wanted four, so we thought we’d better get going!

God had different plans for our family.

The next six years were spent going from one doctor’s appointment to the next… from one surgery to the next… all in an effort to figure out why my young and seemingly healthy body was not working.

I have Endometriosis, a condition that basically destroys your body from the inside out.  During my final surgery my doctor made the painful decision to remove both of my non-functioning fallopian tubes, hoping it would increase the chance of my third and final IVF {invitro-fertilization} treatment being successful.

The next month we had our final IVF procedure.  It failed.  We were done.

We were physically {well mostly me on that one}, emotionally, and financially spent.  The chance of a natural pregnancy was eliminated with the removal of my tubes.  I was officially STERILE.  It is still strange to say those words.  I am a woman that cannot do what I was created to do… bear children.  That is a very strange reality to be faced with.

I spent seven dark years in the thick of my infertility {I say “my” infertility because the issues were mine… with another woman my husband could have had more children… more salt in the wounds}.  For some of those years Nathan and I were not on the same page.  He didn’t understand my desperation for a child when I already was a mom.  Those years I struggled with a deep loneliness that I had never known.  It is so hard to explain what infertility feels like to someone that has never experienced it, but the bottom line is… IT SUCKS.

However, God also used those seven years to challenge my character and bring me to a place of total trust and reliance on His plan for my life.  I came to a point where I had to say, “God, I love you and I trust you, and I know that {while very different from mine} Your plan is the best plan for my life.  So even if I never have another baby I will praise you and be thankful for whatever it is that you call me to do.”

And I really was at peace.  Without tubes I no longer had to live in two week cycles, wondering if each late period was the one.  I had an incredible eight year old that was the joy of my life, a loving, supportive husband, a thriving business… life was good.

Now since I have already babbled on for quite some time {and probably lost most of you} I will leave this next part of the story short and sweet {if you would like to read the whole story, you can find it here}.  Through miraculous circumstances, in March of 2011 we brought home the most beautiful baby girl that looks nothing like us.


And in the instant that I met her I understood every no that God had placed in my path.

If you are in a season of not understanding the circumstances of your life, please be encouraged that someday you may understand and even appreciate the painful path that you are walking.

Since experiencing infertility and adoption I have a heart for encouraging hurting women.  Several months ago I felt a calling on my life to do something to help other women that are experiencing similar trials, and the Choose Joy event was born.

Choose Joy is a one-day conference in Southern California for women and couples that are experiencing infertility and/or desire to grow their families through adoption.  I have somehow convinced several other women from all over the country to come and be a part of this event.  We have speakers on topics such as “God’s Heart for the Hurting; Waiting Hurts, Waiting Perfects”, “Having a Heart of Hope: Overcoming the Hurt of Infertility”, “The Good, the Bad, and The Ugly of International Adoption”, and much, much more.  My desire is for this to be a day of connection and community, and for women to open their minds to the plan that God has for their family.

The event will include a luncheon and a dessert, and at the end we will be raffling off a cash prize to help someone grow their family.

Tickets are on sale for $30 through the 25th of January.  {After that the price goes up to $40, so don’t delay!}  Please visit the website for all the details on the location and schedule, bios on each speaker, and to register for the event.

If you aren’t experiencing infertility, statistics say that someone you know is.  Please pass this website on to your friends or family that could use some support.

Thanks for reading my story.

Mique here.  I hope you read til the very end.  I love love love Emmy.   Big puffy heart love her.  And I love that she is so open with her story.  The first day that I met her she wasted no time and told me all about her road with infertility (this was before sweet P entered her life!). 
Choose Joy
is going to be amazing.  I love that she had an idea and went with it- my kind of girl.  And I’ll be there to help do whatever Emmy needs me to (she still hasn’t told me yet….but I’ll sweep floors or take coats or just smile).
This is us as babies when we met a few years ago:

Creative Connection friends
While I know that not everyone experiences infertility, I would gamble to say that everyone knows someone who does.  Before I had my oldest, I was pregnant with and then lost twins.  One of the hardest days of my life was sitting in the waiting room of the labor and delivery department waiting to have a D & C, hearing newborns let our their first cries.  It was heart wrenching.
I was the first of any of my friends (college or high school) to get married.  Then the first to get pregnant.  I didn’t know anyone else who had had a miscarriage.  People said silly things.  They didn’t know how to comfort me.   I felt alone and scared.
Things have changed a lot in 14 years.  There is more understanding and compassion.  Choose Joy  will only put an explanation point on that!!!

Today I’m giving away one ticket to the Choose Joy Event.  All you have to do is leave one comment.  That’s it.
  You know, like back in the olden days.

Your comment could be anything-  about your story, the best advice you’ve heard, how someone has really been there for you in your journey.  Anything.  (as long as it’s positive :)
**If this event doesn’t really apply to you or you can’t make it, you can enter for someone who you think could benefit from it.**
I will pick and email a winner next Sunday, January 13th.


  1. Heather D says

    I’m so thankful to read something so honest. It seems like every blog I read is written by a perky Mommy of six. No one talks about how real infertility is, how low you feel and how much it effects EVERYTHING in your life. We have been trying to conceive for six years with no luck. I know God has a plan for us. Thank you for sharing.

  2. says

    Unfortunately, my husband and I are currently struggling with infertility and it seems like its way too long and way too hard of a road even though I know that there are many other women who have it worse off than me. I would like to attend to know that I’m not alone and to see what options are out there for us. Thanks Mique!

  3. Kathryn says

    I haven’t struggled with infertility personally but have friends and family that have. God has blessed us with 3 awesome kiddos. In the last several years God has really been opening my eyes to the orphan crisis and has placed a strong desire on my heart to grow our family trough adoption. I would love to come to the Choose Joy Conference, it seems like a wonderful place to connect and learn from others on the same path. Thanks for sharing Emmy’s story!

  4. Betty B says

    This story is just all too familiar and close to home. I’m the infertile one. I have a tumor on my pituitary gland that is throwing my hormones off. My husband and I went for adoption and have been blessed with a precious miracle baby boy (he was born at 23 weeks, I mean MIRACLE!). We have travelled the road less travelled, I have cried, been shunned by his family for being infertile, and adopting. But we are grateful for being where we are because Gods blessing and purpose upon us is THAT much more evident in our lives! And I would love to go to this conference (hint hint). Thank you for sharing!

  5. Tiffany says

    Such love in this post, makes my heart happy. My comment is not an entry for the giveaway, I live too far. But it is just to say Thank you for sharing with such honesty. It can be so hard for women to be open without feeling judged or “compared” to or even just being too sappy. I thought this post was perfect. I sometimes feel we let our children & families define us and its all really so much more. I’m glad you both found life and love in this great big world and wish you both the best.

  6. Brandi B. says

    Thank you for sharing your story Emmy! [ps can’t live w/ out my planner] Sometimes His plan for us is so different than our own. If I was to win the ticket I know just who I’d give it to. Much love and prayers to all who are struggling with infertility.

  7. Aubrei says

    I have struggled with infertility for the past 7 years. Thank you for sharing Emmy’s story and providing this opportunity. I cried and smiled as I related to her real and raw emotions of her infertility roller coaster. It hits close to home. It gives me hope and provides a light that I too can trust in God’s plan for me and find joy wherever my journey leads.

  8. says

    My sister has struggled with infertility for seven plus years. I think she would benefit greatly from an event like this. She too has endometriosis. What a wonderful thing for you to turn your years of pain into something so beautiful, helping others.

  9. Katie says

    I had a similar story starting out, mine did not end as wonderful as Emmy’s did but I cry with happiness for her and the children she now has in her life. I can see God’s miracles thru her story and I just wanted to say Thank You, for sharing and letting me see that there is Joy, Happiness, and God’s Love pouring out in people’s lives. Thank You.

  10. says

    Infertility isn’t something I’ve had to deal with but one of my best friends does. It’s been heartbreaking watching her long journey in this. Thank you for your desire to serve women in this way and thank you for sharing your story!