I’m excited to introduce Monica from MonicaSwanson.com for Funner in the Summer today. It’s a little bit of a departure from normal but I absolutely love everything Monica writes. She has fantastic parenting advice that I really admire. So sit back and take in all the goodness…
Is it just me or does summer fly by faster every year?
And (maybe it’s just me, but–) here’s how it seems to go:
I dive into summer full of great expectations and enthusiasm. I have to-do lists, and field trips and activities lined up for the kids. And I admit, I want it all: some productive days, plenty of FUN, and those lazy summer days with no agenda. I imagine a few clean closets, some fresh color on my skin, and a bit of quality time with each of my kids.
Then all of the sudden I wake up one day to realize that we have like ONE WEEK(!!) left of summer. Then…{ENTER PANIC ATTACK}…and (it’s ok, it’s probably just me, but) I totally freak out, realizing:
I haven’t rested enough! We’ve hardly gone anywhere, and I’m not sure we’ve even had much fun. And those lazy days of summer? Who was I kidding? I left those somewhere back in 1995. My closets are certainly not clean, (let’s not even talk about my skin) and quality time with kids?…OH DEAR…
Well, the longer I live (and the faster the summers fly by) the more I’ve learned to adjust summer expectations. I guess I’m becoming a bit more of a realist. It’s ok if all of my summer dreams don’t come true. (This is summer, not Disneyland.) These days I’m beginning to give myself a bit more grace as I realize that summers are short and I can only do so much.
But one thing I refuse to give up on is the goal of investing a little extra time to connect with my kids in the summer. After all, the school year is busy and we can’t really DO anything about that. But summer? Well, we do have a bit more say in our schedules in the summer. If we are purposeful and strategic, we can carve out a bit more time with kids, and THAT is something we’ll never regret.
Here are a few ideas to help you connect with your kids this summer.
- BE INTENTIONAL. We don’t drift into close connections or meaningful conversations with our kids. We must carve out the time, and make a plan. Put some one-on-one time on your calendar, and commit to follow through!
- GET SPECIFIC. Each of your kids are unique and what will create a bond with one may not even interest the other. Consider each of your kids and the best way to grow closer to each one. One may be up for taking walks together. Another may prefer planned outings. One of my boys plays music with my husband, while another one loves working in the yard with him. Teens are often busy, and you might have to find time in their schedule to fit in. Know your kids well and plan accordingly.
- MAKE IT COUNT. Sure, board games and ice cream dates are always fun, but don’t be afraid to go deeper when you’ve finally got that one-on-one time with your kids. We as parents are often more uncomfortable than our kids! Ask some questions, then be quiet and listen. If you have a pre-teen or teen and they don’t want to talk, accept that, but let them know you are interested and available. Perhaps you can share some stories from your own childhood or open up (appropriately) about your own life. Relationships take time to grow, so be consistent and keep trying.
- MAKE IT MEMORABLE. Consider doing something with your kids that you will both remember for a lifetime. Do a service project together, or visit a special place you’ve never been. Even a simple date will be remembered more if you get a photo together. Don’t hurry through these times and PLEASE do not be distracted while you’re together (put your phone away and ask the same of your kids!) Try to remember that THESE ARE THE TIMES that you’ll one day look back on fondly. Cherish them!
I hope you’re having the most amazing summer, and somewhere in there I do hope you find time for some quality connections with your kids!
With Aloha,
Monica
Monica and her husband Dave are raising their four sons on the North Shore of Oahu. They homeschool their boys, and spend much of their time supporting their sons’ competitive surfing and skateboarding, and enjoying all that Hawaii has to offer. You can find Monica sharing stories, recipes, and inspiration for living and loving well at her blog, MonicaSwanson.com
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